A Surrendered Heart

It is a year now that the Lord has been teaching me how I should surrender my heart. Especially the last 6 months. I always thought to have a surrendered heart means giving it all to the Lord. But it is much deeper than that.

It has all to do with sacrifice and obedience. Sometimes you cannot distinguish between your hearts voice or Holy Spirit voice. It was with this cry that I ask the Lord to teach me so that I can be obedient to His voice, and die to self.

The Lord asked me to bring my dreams to Him and to sacrifice them to Him.  I said “Father, I am very confused. I thought that the Lambs sacrifice was sufficient.” My Father said “I AM not looking for a blood sacrifice. I AM looking for a surrendered heart given to Me in obedience.” It took me a few days to really think about my dreams. What I wanted to present to my Father. For my dreams, have changed over the years. I went to my Father and sat on His lap, telling Him my intimate dreams of being a good wife and a mother. As I was sharing my dreams with my Father, I could see in the spirit a sacrificial altar appearing in front of us. Every word, every sentence become a picture that was placed on top of the altar.

When I was done sharing my dreams with my Father, I could hear Holy Spirit prompting me “ask Me to bring down My All-consuming Fire on the altar.” I looked at my Father and ask “why must I ask for Your Fire?” My Father placed His hand on my head and smiled. “My dear daughter, I want to purify your hopes and dreams. On My altar that is in front of us, are many of your own dreams. I will consume that what is not of Me, and purify that is of Me.”

I raised my arms in worship and ask for the Fire to come down and to consume all that is from self, so that whatever is left, maybe a sweet sacrifice unto YHVH. I saw a fire ball come down onto the altar. The Fire was extremely hot and scary. When the Fire lifted, I saw what was left. There was almost nothing. I started to cry and said “Daddy, I had it wrong all these years.” My Father gave me a big hug and said “now My dreams of you being a good wife and mother can be birthed in you. I will show you how My dreams look. I want you to come and bring more sacrifices of your dreams to Me.” I knew what my Father was asking of me and it scared me. He wanted me to bring my dreams of my future to Him. He wanted me to bring the ministry.

For a few days, I walked around avoiding the subject. My Father eventually asked “Why are you scared to bring Me the ministry?”  I looked at Him with tears in my eyes and said “what if all these years the dreams I had in my heart was not off You? What will I do if the dream are consumed with Your Fire, and there is nothing left?”  My Father looked me straight into my eyes with so much composition and said do not love your dreams more than Me. I will not ask you to do something if it is not going to benefit Me. Trust Me. If there is nothing left in the end, I will give you a new dream.”  As soon as I heard my Fathers words, a peace flooded my inner most being. That peace has never left.

I went and sat at my Fathers feet and started to tell Him all the dreams that was inside of me about my future in Him and the ministry. All the prophecy’s and scripture I have received over the years. Even the desires He placed in me. Once again, my words formed a picture, but this time I was placing the pictures myself on the altar. When I was done, I once again ask for the All-consuming Fire to come and burn my sacrifice to my Father. I asked that any dream that was of self, that it will burn and evaporate. That any dream that was in line with the Word of YHVH, and in line with my Fathers will for me, to be purified and strengthened.

As the altar was burning, my Father said to me “you see My daughter, in this journey that you are on, that many of My children are on, it is a process of purification and sanctification. In this process, you will go through the Fire and become holy, for I AM Holy”.

In a split second, I saw my Father on His Throne. Yeshua was presenting me to my Father. A brilliant Light shined from my Father. I could see myself. But only half of myself standing in front of my Father. My Father told me, “come and look through My eyes. Come and see what I see.” It was as if a lens was put over my eyes. I was seeing what my Father was seeing. He was looking at me through the Blood. Only that what was covered with the Blood could my Father see. “You see My child, I look at you differently than the world sees you. I can only see what belongs to Me. The Blood has bought everything with a price, but you choose to apply the Blood, to except the sacrifice. When I look at My children, I look through eyes of Love, but that which I cannot see belongs to self. Every dream that is not surrendered to Me belongs to self. Every sin that is not confessed belongs to the world. Just as every sin must die in Christ, so every dream must die in Christ. And only then will you produce fruit of righteousness and start to walk a holy life.” I understood why my Father could only see half of me when I was presented to Him through Christ.

Immediately after that, I was back where the All-consuming Fire were still burning on the altar. My Father stood beside me and said “I want you to bring every aspect of your life to Me and place it on this altar. I want your life to be a sweet sacrifice unto Me. I want a surrendered heart that will operate in obedience unto Me. I will test your heart and the motives of your heart. I want My children to become mature and be rooted on the Rock of I AM. For you, like so many of My children, are a son of the Most High God. And I AM are raising you up in My ways, so that you may become a bride for the Anointed One.”

“In these last days, I will give My children the desire of their hearts. Even the desires that are hidden. If their desire is of this world, I will give it to them. If their desires are My desire, I will move heaven and earth to give it to them. Ask Me to make My desire your desire. I will show you the lost. I will show you My heart for them. I will show you the things that is to come if your heart is surrendered unto Me.”

As the Fire lifted, I could see what was left. I fell to my knees and started to worship my Father. “I surrender these dreams that are left to You. Take them. I want every dream to die in Christ. I am not my own, I belong to You. Set my heart upon the things that are in Your heart. I want Your dreams in my life. I do not want to dream my own dreams. I want to dream Your dreams. I want to dream dreams about You. I do not want to love my dreams more that I love You. I am willing to give it all up if it is Your desire. I do not want to walk on a road that is built by myself. I will only walk if I hear Your voice on the road You chose.”

Many of my dreams about my future, about the ministry had to change. It was a process for me. Coming daily and asking for the Fire to come. I had to learn to distinguish between my hearts voice and Holy Spirits voice. Between my dreams and the dreams of my Father. So, that every dream that was of self could die. And every dream that was from my Father could be surrendered unto Christ. As I was surrendering my life, the Lord came and gave me new dreams. New vision. I learned quickly to even go and surrender those dreams as well. Every Word I received, I offered back to the Lord. Every vision. Every prophecy. This is a process that I pray will never end. I even went and placed all my friendships on the altar. So many were not rooted in the Rock of I AM. My Father even asked me to surrender my body to Him in ways that I did not even thought about. One by one the Lord is reshaping my life. My words. My deeds. My attitude. The motives of my heart. Even my worship is not the same as a year ago. There is nothing that I do that I do not take to the altar and ask for the Fire to come down.

I constantly as for the Fire of YHVH on my life. Not just on the altar. His Fire is very precious to me. In everything I do, I ask the Lord to examine the motives of my heart and to reveal it to me. How I love it now when the Lord comes and tests me. Things are not so simple for me as they were in the beginning. Going through the Fire will change every aspect of your life.

It is because of these offers that I take to the altar, surrendering my heart, my dreams, my desires, my life, that I am receiving new revelations about the sacrifice on the Cross. What our Beloved had to endure. What depths there is to Mercy and Grace. I am only now realizing the complexities of the Love that was poured out for us. Truly seeing the Fathers heart bleeding through His Son. For these revelations are for the body of Christ.

I encourage you to take your dreams, your hopes, your fears, your children, friends, your work, even your desire and place it on the altar. Take everything you have one by one. Do not let this process overwhelm you. It will take time. Keep on asking for the Fire to came so that your life will be a pleasant sacrifice unto YHVH. That you will bear much fruit and be a sweet fragrant of Christ to the world. Even if you have to offer the same dream daily. In these days that we are living in, we cannot sacrifice a pace of ourselves to the world and expect to life in the fullness of Christ. The fullness of what our Father has for us. It is all or nothing.

I want to bless you today and say how humbled I am that you open your hearts towards me and my family as we share our journey with you. I bless you that every desire that is in you, will come in line with the Word of YHVH. I bless your fruit, that many will share in your harvest. That your life will become a great testimony, a sweet sacrifice unto YHVH. That everything you do will be done for the Glory of God. I bless you to hear the sweet voice of Holy Spirit more clear than the voice of this world. I bless you with every spiritual blessing that is in Yeshua Christ. May the Love of our Father be evermore present in your life.

Shama Shalom

Lots of Love.

Marikha and family.