“But Samuel replied, “What is more pleasing to the LORD: your burnt offerings and sacrifices or your obedience to His voice? Listen! Obedience is better than sacrifice, and submission is better than offering the fat of rams.” – 1 Samuel 15:22
Such a familiar Scripture that we read but rarely understand in full. Venturing on our journey, obeying the voice of our Father is one of the most difficult things we will have to face. The voices of the world shouts with delightful sound of temptation, but the voice of Holy Spirit is often blotted out amongst these, even to a bare whisper. Drowning out the voices of self, and not giving in to the seductive voices of the people around you, is more of a challenge than most people would like to admit, but recognising the gentle voice of Holy Spirit, amongst all of the chaos, will deliver to you comfort and peace in the midst of the storm.
The atmosphere was full of excitement on the 26 of March 2018, as we were packing and getting ready to leave for that 16 day Outreach to Malawi. We have undergone intense preparations prior to our departure date. In these months the Lord started us on a road of humbleness as the Body of Christ took hands helping to prepare for the harvest that was to come. We had an overflow of donated clothes, new shoes and gifts for the orphans. We even received Bibles to hand out. This was one of the greatest treasures that we have received, because the written Living Word, is more precious than gold or silver. Abba opened His heart to His children as they blessed us with words and prayer in these preceding months. Four precious daughters of the Most Beautiful High God YHVH Elohim, took time out of their busy schedule and came to pray and blessed us hours before we were on our way. One of the ladies joined telephonically and took part in these prayers and blessings, for she was four hours away from where we were. For the first time in my life, I saw people giving with an open heart and loving hands. We had a committed prayer group praying with us, for finances, lost souls to be saved and the well-being of the pastors in Malawi, to name but a few. Getting to the point of packing was no easy means. We had some financial difficulties and a lot of problems with one of the vehicles brakes. We understood that this was of a spiritual nature. We persevered in prayer and fasting, warring in the heavenlies and holding onto the promises from The Great I AM. We stood upon the Scriptures that the Lord gave us, declaring that His will will be done here on earth as It Is in Heaven.
The DNA of our ministry is securely founded upon the Father’s heart of love; Walking in the footsteps of the Son of man, leading and guiding us with the Sprit of understanding and knowledge, revelation, love and kindness into the Father’s heart, and only then releasing the intimate secrets of our Beloved and Saviour.
“There has never been a generation that has been given the detailed understanding of this glorious and divine mystery until now. He kept it a secret until this generation. God is revealing it only now to His sacred apostles and prophets by the Holy Spirit.” – Ephesians 3:5 =TPT
We know that we are His hands and feet here on earth, becoming empty yielded vessels in service to the King of kings, and seeing people as they were created out of the Father’s heart in absolute love and mercy. We discover the hidden treasures in every person that we meet. There is no greater honour to serve a Merciful King and a loving Father to the ends of the world. The greatest ministry you will ever receive is to minister unto the Lord with your whole heart and mind and soul. Knowing that in this process He will set the captives free and heel your broken heart. I stand in awe knowing that my King lives and have paid the ransom for me to be set free and to be free indeed!
This and only this is what we want to do, out of love obeying the voice of the King and do as He commands us.
“Be imitators of God in everything you do, for then you will represent your Father as His beloved sons and daughters. And continue to walk surrendered to the extravagant love of Christ, for He surrendered His life as a sacrifice for us. His great love for us was pleasing to God, like an aroma of adoration—a sweet healing fragrance.” – Ephesians 5:1-2 =TPT
I know that I still have a long way to go, that there is still brokenness inside of me. I know there is still parts of me that is not walking in freedom. I still fall short of the glory of God every day, but I get up in the morning with a love sick heart.
“This entire building is under construction and is continually growing under His supervision until it rises up completed as the holy temple of the Lord Himself. This means that God is transforming each one of you into the Holy of Holies, His dwelling place, through the power of the Holy Spirit living in you!”- Ephesians 2:21-22 =TPT
I believe with my whole heart that this journey, no matter what I go through, is a journey of intimacy, longing for the One whom my soul loves. “I pray that the Father of glory, the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, would impart to you the riches of the Spirit of wisdom and the Spirit of revelation to know Him through your deepening intimacy with Him. I pray that the light of God will illuminate the eyes of your imagination and understanding, flooding you with light, until you experience the full revelation of the hope of His calling —that is, the wealth of God’s glorious inheritances that He finds in us, His holy ones! I pray that you will continually experience the immeasurable greatness of God’s power made available to you through faith. Then your lives will be an advertisement of this immense power as it works through you! This is the mighty power that was released when God raised Christ from the dead and exalted Him to the place of highest honour and supreme authority in the heavenly realm!” – Ephesians 1:17-20 =TPT
I believe that on this journey I will get back to my original design, before beginning of time when I was concealed in the Light of the world inside my Father’s heart. I know that our struggle here on earth is merely the beginning of eternity. Our purpose here on earth is to reveal Yeshua to all!
“I have been made a messenger of this wonderful news by the gift of grace that works through me. Even though I am the least significant of all His holy believers, this grace-gift was imparted when the manifestation of His power came upon me. Grace alone empowers me so that I can boldly preach this wonderful message to non-Jewish people, sharing with them the unfading, inexhaustible riches of Christ, which are beyond comprehension. My passion is to enlighten every person to this divine mystery. It was hidden for ages past until now, and kept a secret in the heart of God, the Creator of all. The purpose of this was to unveil before every throne and rank of angelic orders in the heavenly realm God’s full and diverse wisdom revealed through the church.” – Ephesians 3:7, 9-10 =TPT
We were eight people in two vehicles journeying, with a purpose and a calling, to Malawi. Our vehicles teamed up around midnight, about two hours from Beitbridge, border post to Zimbabwe. We were so excited we, as passengers, could hardly fall asleep on our way to our meeting point and the border post. When we arrived at the border post, we were able to occupy a spiritual gate in South Africa with a joyful heart, handing out a Bible to the security guard. I had so much gratitude in my heart as I saw the tired security guard’s face lit up as he went to the other security guards showing them that he received the Living Word. The guards gathered around him and they started to read from the Bible. How precious are the words of our Saviour to a humble and hungry heart? We stood in a queue about 40 minutes. My son Michael, now 14 years old, held my hand as if he was a little boy, looking to me for assurance and guidance at a very busy border post. I gently rubbed his back as I smiled at him, assuring him that all is well. In that moment I realised that Holy Spirit always takes our hand, assuring us that He will guide us into all Truth. I handed our passports and all the accompanying documents to the official working behind the counter. I could see that something was wrong. He asked me and Michael to go to another counter, because there was a problem with our paperwork. At the other counter the lady explained that my name was not on the certificate issued, by our government, that would allow me to take my son in and out of the country. I had to go back to Home Affairs office in Musina or in Secunda where I live, so that they can print me another certificate with my name on it and that the office in Musina would be able to help me today. I must admit that this was a frustrating problem that we were facing. It was now about 4am, and the Home Affair office only opens at 8am. We drove around in Musina in circles looking for the Home Affair office as our GPS did not work. Once we found it we parked in front of the building and were relieved at the thought that we would be able to enjoy a cup of coffee. By this time both vehicles had different problems that needed attention. The trailer on our vehicle had a problem with its brakes again. To our amazement we found a Supa Quick in the same street where we were parked and that they would be able to help us with the trailers brakes. We also found a Toyota garage that would be able to help with the other vehicle. Our prayer group, which was staying in South Africa, was fast asleep and had no idea that we did not cross the border yet. I separated myself from the group and went into intense spiritual warfare walking up and down the street. I must have looked like a crazy woman to the people walking by as I was walking up and down, quoting Scriptures and speaking in tongues. Christopher, a passionate evangelist and servant of Yeshua, kept my first place in front of the gates at the Home Affairs office, because soon after we have arrived there, the taxis started pulling in and people rushed for their place in the queue in front of the office, even before sunrise. The rest of the team kept on praying while enjoying some coffee. The Pastor in Malawi was also informed and gathered all the other pastors and congregation members to intercede on our behalf.
It was time and the gates of the Home Affair office opened at about 7:50am. We had to write our names in a book in the order in which we were queuing. Our local prayer team was now informed of the predicament we found ourselves in. I wrote my name in the book and found myself a seat on a cold, small, brick wall while waiting for the doors to open. A young man sat next to me playing a game on his cell phone. He kept looking at me as if he wanted to say something. I greeted him and we started talking. At first Peter and I were talking about silly things, but then he asked me a very strange question. He asked me: “Were you praying this morning when you were walking up and down the street?” I looked at him with a smile and started to explain my situation. He said he saw me and knew I was praying to a God that was alive, a God he has never met before. He said he could see in the spirit that I was on fire and other angelic beings were surrounding me. He told me that he would like to meet the God I was praying to. It was on that cold, small, brick wall that Peter met Jesus and accepted Him as his Lord and Saviour. He was so excited that he took part in sharing the gospel with the man that was sitting next to him, James. He had so many questions about Jesus. Both men admitted that they have heard about Jesus before, but this was the first time that they really saw Him. I quickly got the attention of my merciful husband, Jaco that was in deep prayer on the other side of the road. “Bibles, please! Bring me Bibles!” I yelled to him. He came running with two Bibles and, with joy in my heart, I gave it to Peter and James. I will never forget the expression on their faces as they immediately started to read. “Tell me, where should we start to read?”; “Teach me how pray?” They had so many questions, and I took my time answering them with applicable Scripture. A small crowd gathered around us, all longing and eager to hear about the One who loved us so much that He died on a cross for us. I had the opportunity to lead them through repentance and baptized both Peter and James with Holy Spirit in front of the Home Affair office after James also accepted Jesus as his Lord and Saviour. Then Peter honoured me by reading Scripture to me. He barely read a couple of words and then he had a question. He was so hungry and soaked up everything that he learned. We forgot about time and we forgot where we were, for in that moment two beautiful sons met their Father. One of the other men in the crowd started to ask me questions about the prophets in the Old Testament. He said he only heard about them, for he owns a New Testament Bible. He asked me about Moses, Abraham, Isaiah and had questions about Adam and Eve. I quickly asked for another Bible and gave it to him. He immediately started to read in the Old Testament. Holy Spirits’ soft gentle voice rose in my spirit and said: “You have given them food today in the form of the everlasting Living Word. Their souls and spirit ate of the Living Bread of Live, but their stomachs are empty. They have not eaten today food that will sustain their bodies. My children are hungry.” I asked Peter and James whether they have eaten that day and both of them replied with a negative. I looked around and caught the attention of my son and I asked him to please go and get food for these two young men. My husband came back with 9 quiches. These quiches were given to us as a blessing by dear friends who supplied us with food for the journey (padkos). As I held these 9 blessings in my hands, I knew that everybody that was waiting in line was hungry. I closed my eyes and I prayed: “Father, today You will decide who will eat.” I started handing out quiche. The food multiplied, for Abba gave food to about 20 hungry people on that day.
The clock was ticking 9:30am and the doors to Home Affairs Offices still did not shift its hinges. I went into my secret place. I started to praise my Father and Yeshua for what He has done that day. The enemy tried to steal from us, but the Lord turned the situation around and allowed Holy Spirit to work in the hearts of His sons and daughters.
Meanwhile on the other side of the road, as the group was still praying, a short, but very powerful lady and deeply in love with Yeshua, whom we all love and adore and call Tannie Hantie, was busy ministering to a prodigal son who has lost his way in this world. Her gentle mothering heart embraced a son that felt unremembered and insignificant and gave him guidance only as a mother could with the wisdom of Holy Spirit. This man thought that the Lord has forgotten him, even though the previous night he had a dream about this little powerful lady that came and gave him a prophetic word in front of the Home Affairs office. He said that he had lost his ID and he was at the Home Affairs office today to reapply for his ID. He did not pay much attention to his dream until Tannie Hanti approached him. It was divine timing, orchestrated by the God of time and life Himself. This young man had new hope and new purpose in life, because the God of intimacy met his needs in the most unlikely place. It does not matter where you are, our Father and our Shepherd will find you and bring you back into the safety of His loving arms.
By the time the doors opened at about 9:45am, the list we wrote our names on were not considered anymore. The people started to queue waiting to receive a number so they can be helped. Peter, burning with zeal, took my hand walking me to the front of the queue and in his own language told the people that I was here since 4 am this morning and I was first in line. The people graciously stepped back. The man behind the first counter ask me why I was there so that he could give me a number and send me to the correct counter for assistance. I explained my situation to him. He answered me back in his native language and I explained to him that I do not understand what he was trying to tell me. Peter came to my rescue and translated what the man was saying. He also explained my situation to the man. The man gave me a number and directed me to a counter explaining my whole situation to the lady behind the counter. I handed all my documents to this lady. The lady smiled and said she will quickly verify on their system and reprint me the certificate that I so desperately need. She came back very confused and said the there is no record of me or Michael on their system. She handed me more documents and said that I must fill them in and go to the police Station and get them certified and then come back and that she will make sure that I see the manager.
Our team was spiritually so charged with Holy Spirit fire, that it felt that there was no stopping us from taking out the gospel of the good news of who Jesus is. Our energy levels were very high. My father helped me to fill in the forms as the rest of the team was telling me their experience and what they felt. Tannie Hantie, her husband, Oom Johan, and I went to the police station while the others stayed behind praying. Supa Quick was busy fixing the trailers brakes for a second time. Tannie Hanti and I was so excited to go to the police station, because there we could preach and share the gospel as we wait in line. Surprisingly, there were no waiting people at the station and we were immediately assisted. Leaving there, we just prayed and jumped into the car heading back to the Home Affairs office.
I faithfully fell into the back of the line. Jaco and Christopher came and stood with me as I waited to see one of the managers. We waited for about 20 minutes before we could see him. As I explained my situation to the manager and gave him all the necessary papers and documents, you could feel the spiritual atmosphere change and a dark cloud was hanging over us. The manager was quiet for a few seconds as he went through all our paperwork. Once he was done, he slowly gathered all the papers together and handed it back to me. He started to explain to us that he does not believe in the God we serve and he thinks that what we are doing is foolish; therefore he would not be able to assist us any further. Jaco, in a very calm and gentle voice, asked if there would be any way that someone else would be able to help us so that we could go through the border. The manager started to explain to us that we should go back to Secunda and maybe they would be more willing to help us, as that is the town that we are from. Christopher went back to the group and said that they must pray. The manager said that what he is going to do is put me on the system and put a note next to my name on my passport saying that I am smuggling my son out of the country. The result of this is that I would not be able to take my son out of the country and if I go to the border post I would be arrested. In horror Jaco and I looked on as he logged into their system. There was no reasoning anymore at that stage. I saw in the spirit a whole demonic system rising up behind him. While the manager was still speaking and cursing us because of our faith, his voice faded and I heard the voice of Yeshua very clearly: “Do not argue any further. The enemy has found legal ground and I am granting him his petition to stop you going to Malawi. Go back home. I will lead and guide you as you come to My courts. Right now I am protecting My harvest.”
I gently touched Jaco’s arm and said to him that we need to leave this place. Leaving the offices, I asked Jaco to allow me to be quiet for a moment before we break this news to the rest of the team. I gave all my emotional gates over to Holy Spirit and ask for guidance and strength.
“My King, how am I going to face the people? Will they not question our mandate and whether it is from You, if we do not proceed right now?” I could feel how my King was standing in front of me, putting His right hand on my shoulder.
“You will face them with dignity and Grace, My love. I will fight this fight, because it is for My Name’s sake. You may not understand right now but I AM protecting My harvest from a devouring spirit. Am I not the King of the harvest? Are you not My labourers in My fields? Are you not subjective to what the King says?”
In that moment everything that happened to me in December last year became very clear. If I did not go through that test, I would have fallen to the ground at that very moment. Everything that has happened was leading up to this moment. I was confronted by two choices: Will I go home defeated and give up on every word that I believe in and hold on to; or am I going to go home with my head held high knowing there is a harvest that needs to come into the Kingdom?
“I choose to obey you my King; this harvest will come in at the appointed time. We will not give up but fight the good fight of faith.”
When I told the group of what just happened and that we were not going to go through to Malawi at this moment, but that we need to go home and correct the mistakes we have made that gave the enemy the legal right to pull of what he just did and that we will have to set new dates for the outreach to Malawi, they themselves were unknowingly on the test grounds of the Lord. He was testing their hearts and their motives. Each one of them had the same choice that I had. Will they choose to surrender their dreams into the hands of the enemy or were they going to choose life? At that time most of us were already awake for about 36 hours and in constant prayer. We could feel it in our bodies. It was only about 2 o’clock in the afternoon and we were tired. Only a moment after we let the prayer group in on the fact we are turning back to come home to attend to legal matters in the spirit and in the physical realm, that our struggles was on again. Immediately, there on the street in front of the Home Affair office we went into repentance. I was being pressured to go through the border and also accused of being of little faith. I had to be obedient and understood that Yeshua is in control. We prayed for the manager’s salvation and forgave him, for he did not know what he was doing. Yeshua loves him and realized that myself and this team had no right to stand in judgment agents anyone standing up against us. From that moment on for up to about a month later, we had to constantly fight the words of a mission miscarriage and abortion.
If we are to obey the voice of our Father and our King Yeshua, it means that we will have to surrender even to the point of death. In that moment we will not always understand what
He is asking of us, but if we love Him and obey Him, then He will reveal to us the mysteries of His Kingdom that is concealed in Yeshua. If we do not give up, we win! Not everybody will always understand what the Lord is asking of you, but I have realised that it is not necessary for them to understand. Abba Father is not looking for your explanation on why you are choosing what you are choosing, but He is looking into your heart searching your motives and whether you are willing to be obedient to Him, the King of kings. Yeshua knows what He is doing and we need to learn to trust in Him with our whole heart, whole mind and with everything in us, with all our understanding.
Many months have gone by and I was constantly visiting the Home Affairs office trying to get the correct documents for Michael. We have done a lot of spiritual warfare and repentance and we have been constantly going before the Lord asking Him to search our hearts. We do not want to do anything out of our own, but purely His will alone. With the guidance of Holy Spirit we were able to enter God’s courts where we received much insight on what needs to be dealt with, many things that I cannot share at this stage. What I would like to say is that we were on our knees, seeking God’s face with regard to the challenge to rectify what was out of place and to receive correct documents that would allow us to go out and do what God has set out for us to do. At the end of June we, as a family, but without Jaco, were blessed to go to Mozambique with another missionary team. While we were there I received a sms from the South African Office of Home Affairs that the unabridged birth certificate, that we have been praying about and waiting for, is ready for collection. This is the heart of our Father: to wilfully submit and keep firm the faith in Him and to know that He will work where we cannot. All glory unto Him.
Meanwhile in Musina, near to that border post that presented us with the challenge and also the chance to grow into another level of maturity, God’s hand is still at work amongst His sheep. Peter is still on fire for Yeshua, and preaching everyday to anyone that climbs into his taxi. Both him and James joined a local church and are faithful servants of Yeshua. Peter is still praying for a Godly wife that will be able to cook like his mother. Yeshua knows our hearts and is forever faithful. We pray with him for blessing to be added to his life in the form of a wife.
We still trust our faithful Father for revealing His perfect plan and the mission dates for Malawi. We are very excited for what the Lord is doing in our lives and we are blessed to know that He will guide us along our way and in every step leading up to His next outreach mission that He ordains for us to venture on. We pray and long for His voice more than ever and our hearts are open and ready to accept His instructions to carry His gospel to Africa. While we are waiting on Him, He is working things for the good of His servants who obey and love Him. The question is: “What pleases the Lord?” The answer is straight forward: “Listen! Obey and submit.”
Shama Shalom
Marikha and family
