The mercy of a King
The mercy of a King.
A while back, I saw the sadness in my Kings eyes. I saw His heart break in two and bleeding from a place of deep betrayal. As I stood in the garden of Gethsemane in the spirit, the whole betrayal seen of Judas was playing in front of my eyes. I could not hold back the tears as it all felt very real to me.
Gethsemane means “oil-press”. Little did I understand how the Lord was already putting me through the oil-press, so that my oil can become pure. For it is only the pure oil that could be used in the temple. It is only the pure oil that’s light do not flicker when the wind blows upon it. It is the purity of my King that has saved me from death. You cannot get a more pure Lamb than the Lamb of God, but still He had to become fresh for me. Yeshua had become all for me.
Holy Spirit let me see deeper into the heart of Judas. I could see into the deepest part of his heart. For it was there in his heart that he know he was betraying the Man he knew was the King of kings, the Lamb slain before the beginning of the world. The only One who could forgive the sin he was now committing was Yeshua. But something was raising up inside of him that was going to turn history on his head. Pride took hold of him and he became stiff-necked. I saw the most beautiful thing inside of Judas that every one of us has. It is called “free will of man”. This is what separates us from all other living things. Free will looks like the most fragile thing inside the human spirit, but it is one of the most powerful weapons we have. The fight in the heavens are all about our free will. Satan wants to build his kingdom on our free will and twist the things that is supposed to make us free so that we become slaves do death. We built daily into his kingdom with the decisions we make, with the sin that is unrepentant and a heart made out of stone. But we can choose to surrender and be a living stone in the Kingdom of Light and be an ambassador and build upon the Cornerstone that is the Rock of I AM. The two kingdoms look very different for one is a Kingdom where you die and become the partner with Holy Spirit and allow to be chanced into the image of Yeshua. The other one you build up for yourself and partner with pride, and chanced into the image of the world and eventually die.
We are so quick to say that the betrayal of Judas was the worst thing any man could do to Yeshua. But in a moment Holy Spirit showed me that the same betrayal that Judas did to Yeshua was also done by a man only hours later. The man was named Peter. He betrayed the King three times. There is no differences between their sins. Yeshua even warned both of them that their hearts was full of darkness and that the darkness is going to come out for all to see. They were going to do the unthinkably and separate themselves from the King.
As Holy Spirit was showing me this I could not stop crying. For I know that I also betrayed my Beloved more than once in my life. That I was as guilty as those two men. Holy Spirit started to speak to me and said “man’s free will is the most powerful thing that you reserved other than the Blood of Christ. It can be the most dangerous thing if it is not used correctly. It is your will that will always be at the centre of all that you do. Even if you are so broken, it will be your free will that can choose to come for healing. You choose to be set free. You choose to forgive. You choose to step into the Light. You choose to love, you choose… you choose life or you chose death. You choose who you will follow. The King of kings or the prince of the air and of this wold. You cannot follow two masters, for that makes you unstable in all your ways.”
Holy Spirit showed me the heart of Peter. It looked a lot like the heart of Judas. But were Judas had pride, Peter had shame. For the first time I show the difference between a man full of sorrow and bitterness over sin and a man that was not even willing to look reality in the eye. I believe that Judas and Peter had the same measure of mercy upon their life. For the mercy of the Lord is new every morning. In a moment I saw my King standing before me. His heart was broken because He was going to be a living sacrifice for a broken world that did not understand His ways. And betrayal was cutting deep into His heart. Yeshua come to reconcile us with the Father. Because of His sacrifice I can come boldly to my Abba and live inside His heart. I can be called a child of the Most High and grace was now upon my life. The mercy of my Father I still receive as a free gift every morning, and that brings me to the precious gift of grace that extends into many generations to bring forgiveness, restoration and healing.
What set Peter apart was not the greatness that was prophesied over him by Yeshua. But because he went and humbled himself and asked forgiveness. He had deep sorrow over that what he had done. Judas also had sorrow over that what he had done, but did not give himself over to the mercy of the King, but gave himself over to pride and death. I believe with everything that is with in me, that my King is a righteous King, and that He would have extended His mercy to Judas if he came with sorrow in his heart and ask forgiveness. I recognise that both Judas and Peter had the same desire inside of them to be a servant's to the King. But only one choose it with his free will and died to self. The other just died. Both Judas and Peter knew Yeshua intimately. They both knew His heart. Both saw the miracles He did. Both saw that He was truly the Son of God. The sad thing is this is how the body of Christ is looking today. The truth is we also have the seed of betrayal inside of us. We can choose to be like Judas or like Peter. It is easy for us to recognise the Kingdom of Yeshua and the kingdom of Satan. But we do not always see that in the Body of Christ there is the 2 kingdoms fighting for control. For Judas represents the man in the body that is blind and puffed up and deceives without true remorse. Blaming his pain and not taking responsibility for what he is doing. Saying all that he is doing is for the King with the Kings permission, not realizing that he is being blinded by his own pride and not seeing the falls that is steering him in the face. Or maybe he sees is, but doesn’t want to acknowledge he is wrong. Falseness was upon Judas. For he was not willing to humble himself. Peter represents the man in the Body that is willing to confront his sins and pain. To look into the eyes of the King and ask for mercy. He is willing to go if the King sends him and not do things out of self. The one has a master called pride disguising him as the voice of God, and he is also in the service of the King. Therefore he is serving two masters, himself and the King. The other one allows the Lord to press him so that the dark oil of self and pride can come out. Both can say that they walk in the Light. Both can do miracles. We can so easily be deceived, for both say they know Yeshua intimately. It will only be in examining their fruit that we will be able to separate them. It will only be in their oil that they come and sacrifice at the temple that we will be able to see how pure they are. All of us are being pressed to see what oil is coming out. The reality is that not all the oil is pure. There is layers and layers of impure oil that has to come out before the treasure inside of us can be released. Peter was pressed so that the world could come out of him. That he could be the one rock that started to build the church. But first pride had to be squeezed out of him so that it could be replaced with humbleness. Peter went and traded his sin with the Blood. Judas was pressed and the oil of self and pride came out of him. How great Judas would have been in the Kingdom we do not now. Because he decided to keep his oil and trade it with death. I recognised the oil, for I had once been a carrier of pride myself.
For I long time I was like Judas, betraying my King and proclaiming I was walking in the Light. Not even recognizing what I was doing. Blinded by the world, my own works and religion. Blinded by pride and self. Just as Judas was looking into the eyes of Yeshua and not realizing the effect his actions would have in the Body or himself. For years that is how I lived.
Years ago I chose to take up the mercy from my Farther and asked to look into the eyes of the One I was betraying and to lift the veil of pride even for just a moment. When I looked into Yeshuas eyes for the first time when self and pride was out of the way, I saw His hands was full of my blood. It was crying out the most hateful things. It broke me at that moment and I stared to repent. Yeshua took me to the cross. I saw Him for the first time not as a man but as a Lamb. Yeshua took my hand and walk with me closer to the cross. He said “you need to be where the Blood is if you want to be washed.” As I walk closer, I could hear every drop of Blood crying out for mercy. There was silence in the spirit as the Blood started to speak. Every demon turned to see the King. They covered their ears and bowed their heads. Yeshua took hold of my hand and led the way. Not fearing but walking as an Overcomer in a victory we did not understand. Yeshua placed me under the outstretched right arm of the Lamb on the cross. I turned my face upwards and saw the eyes of the Lamb looking straight at me. His Love was unmeasurable. I looked into the face of my King and a drop of Blood fell upon my head. I closed my eyes and asked forgiveness as I was weeping. For the first time I know the price of forgiveness. As I stared to repent more Blood fell on me. Not one time did the King take His eyes of me. Today I can truly say I know what intimacy is, for that moment was true intimacy between a King and a sinner. I turned to see what was behind me and I saw a multitude of people and Yeshua said “I saw every single person in front of me as I was being crucified. I kept everyone in my side. I called everyone by their name as I poured out My Blood. You were on My mind.”
The difference was that Peter desired to be forgiven even if it would cost him his life. For he had no guarantee that he would not be struck dead at the sight of Yeshua looking at him. Judas loved his live too much and would rather have died with the bitterness that ate him alive than to humble himself. But like Peter I asked the Lord to forgive me. I choose to go through the proses of dyeing to self and become alive in Him. It is an ongoing proses and I pray that the Lord will never stop this proses in my life.
I praise the Lord that He willed me into existents in this time. It is the time that Daniel wrote of, Ezekiel prophesied over and John saw in a vision. Even the earth is groaning for the sons of God to come into maturity in this time. Heaven is preparing for the things that is to come. We can know our Father personally and sit on His lap. We can dance with the King and walk daily with our Teacher. We can be in love with the Lamb of God and the Lion of Juda. We can be directed by the Spirit of Truth in all things we do. We can come into the presence of the Living God and be changed from glory to glory as we experience His Glory. We can daily resave mercy and graces from our King. We can appropriate the Blood and sanctity ourselves. We are called to manifest the glory of the Lord. We are called to become holy for our King is Holy. To establish the Kingdom of Yeshua. We are called to take the goodness of the Lord to all. I want to be a broken vessel from my King. So that His Glory can shine. Not my will but His will in my life. My friend, where are you today? For I know how much brokenness is still inside of me, but I celebrate the good things my Redeemer and Healer has already done in my life. Are you Judas or are you Peter in the Body today? Take up the Blood and humble yourself today before your King and ask for mercy.
Shama Shalom
Marikha and Family.