In the middle of darkness and hopelessness, when all seems to go wrong, and the night seems to have a firm grip on us, all we have left is a promise from YHVH. It is in this moment that heaven asks: “What will you do?”
We need to be like Jacob, despite our past and what the future may hold. We must be desperate to see the hand of YHVH upon our lives, to take hold of His Word, and to cry out to Abba to not let us go until He has blessed us and until His promises are fulfilled in our lives. Not for our sake but for His name’s sake. It is in this moment when we have nothing to lose, that we find YHVH face-to-face.
However, when Jacob wrestled with YHVH, YHVH touched his hip and it was dislocated. There are great knowledge and insight that Yeshua wants to teach us in this moment when YHVH asked Jacob to trust Him in the midst of disaster and not to let go.
To wrestle with YHVH is to contend for your destiny and it will cost you something. When YHVH dislocated Jacob’s hip, he was marked for all to see that the promise of YHVH was upon his life. It was an uncomfortable marking of blessing that would be with Jacob for the rest of his life. It was in that moment, in the agonising pain that Jacob contended for his blessing, his destiny and his birthright from heaven and a nation was born as Jacob’s name was changed to Israel. Jacob chose the path that was uncomfortable. He wanted to see YHVH face-to-face. He wanted to see the God of Abraham and Isaac so that this God can become his God. He wanted to see the God of promise and provision; the God of miracles. He wanted a relationship with Him and an intimate one at that. He was not happy with the angels passing him by in his dreams; he wanted the One who gave him breath. Jacob longed for relationship, with the One who holds the universe span in the palm of His hand. He wanted to partnership with the Great I AM Himself.
This is where your faith gets build. This is where you learn to trust in, rely upon and lean into the Great I AM. This is where I have been finding myself for the last 6 months. Every time I start to write, I would hear Holy Spirit saying very clearly to me: “Not yet, not now, wait.” There is so many things that I want to share with you, but I understand that the timing is not now. This is not the season for these mysteries to be revealed. How I long to share with you the beauty of the One whom my soul loves. How I long to share with you the greatness of our faithful Father. How I long to share with you the insight of our journey with Holy Spirit, but I hear the sweet whisper off my Beloved’s tender voice: “Not yet My love.”
I have been finding myself at the feet of my King crying on behalf of the body of Christ constantly. YHVH took me to a place that seems forgotten and showed me the condition of His body here on earth. I find myself weeping, for His body is broken and in disunity. My Beloved Yeshua was weeping with me as we were looking at this mutilated body that is called the body of Christ, the Church. Every tear that ran down my Beloved’s face was a prayer ascending before the throne of YHVH. I could clearly see the different parts of the body. This body has taken a brutal beating. The part of the body that stood out for me the most was the heart. I could clearly see that it was not beating according to the rhythm of the Father’s heart. It seemed more tired than the rest of the body. The lungs were not fully inflated with the breath of YHVH, and the breathing seemed constricted. I saw a heart inside of the heart of the body and two names was written upon it. The one name was “Pride” and it had a chamber inside of it with the words written upon it “lacking compassion”. Inside this chamber was another heart and it also had a name upon it that said “Loveless”. This heart also had a chamber inside of it with the word’s “stubbornness” written upon it.
The other name that was written upon the heart was “Humbleness “. It too had a chamber inside of it and the word “intimacy” was written upon it. Yet again inside of this chamber was another heart. As I was reading the words, the name upon this heart and the words upon the chamber was being consoled and locked up as if the mysteries of these words are for another season. Immediately I heard the voice of my Father saying: “I set before the body life and death. I set before you blessing and curse. You must choose one or the other, for your heart can only beat in rhythm and in time with either life or death. Your heart only pumps with blessing or curse. Your heart can only become one with the one you choose. For too long you have chosen to mix blessing and curse; to mix the seed that flow through your veins. For too long you have compromised with the world, but I desire for My Son a body that is holy and will not compromise by mixing blood, for live is in the blood. I have promised that I will give you a new heart, a heart that is made out of flesh, and upon it I will write My Commandments, My instructions, My words, My laws. I desire a body for My Son that will work in unity out of My heart. I desire a holy body, because My Son is Holy.”
While we were in Mozambique for outreach this year 2018, I found myself before this heart. I was constantly confronted with either pride or humbleness. As my tears, the silent prayers of my own heart, fell upon the dust of a very dry land, my Beloved whispered gently into my spirit: “Cover those whom I love with love, for love covers a multitude of sin.”
For us, Mozambique was a time of wrestling. It was a time of contending with the promises from YHVH, seeking YHVH more intensely and learning how to trust Him so that our faith can grow. There was definitely a place where He touched our hips and it was dislocated. It left a mark upon our lives. Even through the months leading up to Mozambique and coming back from Mozambique; even now we are in a season where we are contending for the promises upon our lives. We are wrestling for our destinies, birthright and blessings. I do not think that this journey will ever stop.
This is my prayer for myself and The Body of Christ:
I am contending for you that your hearts will be wrapped in the comfort of heaven and woven together into love’s fabric. This will give you access to all the riches of God as you experience the revelation of God’s great mystery – Christ. Our spiritual wealth is in Him, like hidden treasure waiting to be discovered – heaven’s wisdom and endless riches of revelation knowledge. Colossians 2:2-3
Shama Shalom
Marikha and family
